We are all ill

The last week we have all been sick. It started about 10 days ago. Neil's ear was red and had a little bit of fever. It never got serious, only once or twice a day we would notice his ear to be red. Then later he caught cold. He had runny nose, and fever. The fever was not too high, but he was extremely cranky. He had trouble swallowing. He threw up quite a few times, especially after eating. He had trouble breathing and would wake up during the night. Lisa's time was mostly spent cleaning after him, comforting him, and staying up at night.
To add to the problems, Lisa caught flu really badly. Friday evening she was okay, felt a little tired. But within two hours, she had high fever and so much fatigue that she could barely move. The whole of Saturday and Sunday she was bedridden. I too caught the bug on Saturday, but not so severely.
Now Neil is almost alright, just a little bit of cough. Lisa is recovering, and besides cough that makes her voice croak, otherwise she is okay. I seem to have spared the severity. Just mild symptoms of tiredness and sore throat.
But when all three of us were not feeling well, it felt really bad. Thankfully we seem to be getting out of it now.

Neil is getting more intelligent

Neil loves to go in our backyard. The main attraction for him is the water hose. He also plays a lot with the game that Vija and Ruchita gave him. It too has a water container with a water powered wheel.
Recently he has started showing signs that he is going to be neat freak. He likes to do things in a specific order. Keeps his things back (if he is in the mood). The other day I showed him how to clean our Roomba. Now he is always after me to clean it. When I am cleaning it, I throw away the dirt saying "kachara". He too, merrily chimes after me "kachara"... About three days ago, I took him to our front area, where we have a couple small trees. I showed him how to pick up dry leaves, and put them in the dirt basket. Also, I showed him how to clean up the area with a hose. He loved spraying water everywhere and removing small dirt.
Yesterday when I took him out for another "kachara" session, he was more interested in the water. There was no hose, but he kept pointing to the faucet, and saying "paayee, paayee". I said not today. The next thing he did was really amazing. He went to the base of the tree, and picked up some dirt. He promptly dropped it. He showed me his hands and said "haat dhoo", and pointed to the faucet again. He was trying to force me to open the faucet! I knew kids were intelligent, but this is outright sneaky. Wanting something and asking me to do it is pretty straightforward. But when I say no, he knew that making his hands dirty means I will wash them, and hence he will get to play with the water. Wow. He is just 21 months old.

wa wa wa wa...

Back in India, Vaijumavshi worked a lot on Neil's potty training. When we came back here, we have continiued the effort. He is still not independent, but needs to be taken to the potty. We try to reward him by various means. Flushing is a big reward for him. He asks for it, and we let him - to celebrate his success. Also, when he comes out both of us say to him "wa wa wa wa..." and clap. He gets thrilled by the recognition, and his tiny chest seems to fill up with pride.
From yesterday, he has started returning the favor to us. Whenever either of us comes out of bathroom, or he hears the sound of the flush, he comes to us and says "wa wa wa wa..." clapping with his tiny hands. It's hilarious!

Playing with wire and Hi Five

I have always wondered what kind of toys to buy for Neil. I think adults have no idea of what children would find as fun. We think that some fancy gadgets will appeal to them and spend a ton. Some of them work, but most don't. I think children love to play with whatever catches their fancy. So far Neil has enjoyed playing with utensils a lot. One of his videos (I must upload it sometime) shows him opening a drawer and throwing out small steel bowls one by one. Nowadays he seems to like throwing a ball back and forth to me. I guess the best thing children like is a playmate - then they can play with anything. Organized sports and rules come later. Well, it's not that simple. Even the games that he makes up, he has some rules that he has in mind. For example, when we throw ball back and forth, I ask him to go "back there" and throw. He goes to the edge of the carpet, meticulously lines up his feet just behind the carpet line, and then throws the ball. No one told him to do so, but he invented this rule all by himself. Anyway, getting back to the point, here is Neil playing with me using nothing but a chord... Then he goes and says Hi-Five to Lisa.

Cholu Cholu...

Ever since he was just a few days old, Neil loved a nice massage with oil. Vaijumavshi used to massage him by putting him on her legs, he would lie quiet and enjoy. I tried putting him on my lap, he enjoyed that too. He would lick my lap. He did the same thing when he was on the leg, he would lick the knee. When Aai was here, he had grown up - when she massaged him, he had started moving about a little. It is not possible to massage him every day, but we try to do it twice a week. Now that he is 21 months, he has grown up enough to understand the pleasure of it. Sometimes he brings the oil bottle and says "cholu cholu". When lisa massages him, he lies down quietly like he is getting a treat. The clip shows him returning the favor.

These shoes are too big!

Since he loves to go out, he loves to wear shoes. He likes to play with them, and tries to wear them himself. Nowadays, when I put his shoes on, he brings my shoes and tries to put them on my feet. The clip shows him trying to wear my shoes. These are my sneakers, and they are really heavy. And he was trying to wear them on top of his shoes. It was hilarious.

Short sentences

Neil has started to speak in short sentences. Some examples are ' Rajesh basaa' ( sometimes, 'Rajeshbasa'), 'Rajeeeesh, utal, light, buttton' , 'chiuchi chiuchi daa oo' ( chiutai chiutai daar ughad), 'Dol-lol-lai, chajz' ( roomba charge), kim haataa ( cream haataavar), 'daa bonda' /daa manda / daa anda ( daar banda.), ooti ek don teen (ushi padali / ushine udi marli)

Yesterday Rajesh was eating cheese sauce with his sandwich when Neil came and asked for a piece of 'paav'. Rajesh offered him a taste of the cheese sauce which he liked. Later he asked for more by pointing at the sauce and his plate saying ' te, ithe, aala aala aala', meaning "put it here".

He has become a chatterbox, he tries to immitate many of the words we say. Just about eight months ago, he could not say anything except "ba ba ba" and "ma ma ma..."

However he is developing a bit of "bobadepana". There are sounds he can make, but chooses not to. For example he could say "bbanda" with a very emphatic B. But now he says "nanda" or "manda". He could also say "Mona" but now he says "Nona". Vaijumavshi used to teach him how to say "Rrrrrrrajesh" because he always calls me "Jajesh". So he practices "TrrrrrRajesh"...

Ding Dong

Unlike both of us, Neil is a creature of habit. He likes to do things in certain order. For example, when we take him to potty, he asks us to switch the light on, close the bathroom door, and also close the sliding door of the bath. Then we are supposed to sit in front of him and sing the song "एक मोठा डोंगर ". Once he is done, he wants to put some toilet paper inside, flush (flushing is his reward), open the door, switch the light off and close the door. He gets irritated if we forget to close the door.
When he comes back from outside there is another set of routines that we have to follow. First, we have to let him ring the bell. He keeps asking "ning nong, ning nong". And he doesn't just ring it, he has to ring it with a ball. His ball is a lemon from our tree. We keep one lemon as long as possible, but often have to get a fresh one. Naturally, once the ringing is done, the ball has to go in its special place. Usually it is the outside corner of the door. But he has never been satisfied with that place. He hands us the lemon and says "baw - tithe" or "thev tithe" pointing to the tree. He wants us to keep the lemon back - on the tree!

Neil singing and dancing

Words just can't describe it, you gotto watch!

Neil discovers headphones

Neil likes to dance to certain tunes like "eka peksha ek" "maa ka laadlaa" etc. But he was little peevish about headphones. For some reason he hated putting them on. Lately he has started becoming little inquisitive and bold. For example, he used to be afraid of the Roomba. The moment it started, he would find a safe, high ground and watch it like a hawk. He definitely wondered what it was doing. Especially since it bounces off walls in a random manner, and goes in a straight line, and sometimes hugs the wall - it certainly gives out a sense of purpose. To Neil, it must have seemed alive. He used to stay away from it. But now he is very comfortable - it's his new buddy. Just like he got used to Roomba, he also suddenly got the courage to try out the headphones that I was wearing. Clearly there was some sound coming from it, and when I took it to his ears it got much louder. So I put his song "maa ka laadlaa" on and let him have it.
He was simply mesmerized by it. He confirmed that the sound was coming out of the earphones, and then he just pressed them to his ears. His face bore the expression of someone concentrating deep inside themselves to figure out exactly what is happening. Then he started dancing - it went on for many minutes, and his fascination kept on increasing. I remember the first time I tried headphones. That was some time around 80 - we had gone to Thane at Vimal mavshi's place. They had bought a walkman - in those days you could find walkman very rarely. It was from the very first batch that hit India costing a whopping 2500 rupees (I bought one in 87 for about 300 rupees) Vimal mavshi's husband was in customs, he had access to latest goods. I too was amazed with the sound - it felt like the music was playing inside your head. The kids this generation are really lucky - I was 20 years when I had my own walkman - Neil is just 20 months.

Neil Reading

The other day Neil picked up a book and started "reading". Of course he doesn't know how to read. But when we ask him वाचायचं कसं? "how do you read?" he says "अशं अशं " (like this, like this) by moving his figer horizontally across the page. We have taught him to do that. This time however, he picked up a book on his own, lying down, and started to "read". By the time I brought the camera, he had lost the mood, but you can still see some of it in the video clip.

Hopefully he will grow up to be an avid reader like his parents and grandparents. I just hope that he does not become a bookworm like the two of us.

Back from India - Neil playing with the bag

When you are 20 months old, you find everything amusing. Everything is so new and so fresh. You have not yet catagorized things into play, work, boring, mundane, exciting... etc. No preconceived notions. No expectations. That's why Neil can find fun in the mundane things interesting. He can make a game out of everything - like the bag opening and closing shown here.
This attitude rubs off on us as parents. So however depressing times these might be, I always get a laugh out of what he does. I wish I could regain some of what I lost. I hope he keeps this playful attitude as long as possible.

Indian Summer 09 - Neil in the Monsoon

When we travelled on 21st of May to India, the monsoon was supposed to arrive early this year - the experts predicted around 25th of May (instead of the usual 7th of June). We were hoping to see the rains mellow the heat - but that was not to be. Pune remain hot and dry for a long time. On 4th of June however, rains arrived with gusto. We cheered, only to find out later that they were solitary - real monsoon would not arrive till 20th of june. But the first rain was strong - and for Neil, it was the first ever. So the moment it started raining, I took him out to get wet. He loves water in every form, and was amazed to see it falling freely from the skies. We went to the river, went to the garden, and then I asked Lisa to film us. Here is the result.
He was shivering, having stayed out in cold rains for more than twenty minutes, but he did not want to let go. He was simply mesmerized by the experience.

Back from India - Neil playing outside

We took him to the garden that has some swings, a slide and some other things. He loved it there, and almost didn't want to come back. We have some clips from about a year ago when Aai was here, he was just 9 months old, and loved the swing. This time it was no different, and he loved it more. The higher the swing went the more he liked it. He went to my head height, and I did not dare going beyond it. He also went on a small slide all by himself. Here, watch it for yourself. (Again, sorry about having to tilt your head - I shot the video with verticle camera)

Indian Summer 09 - Tribute to Neil's Grandparents

Neil stayed in India for five months. And two of those months he stayed alone with his grandparents, without either of us (myself or Lisa) being there. Over the entire five month period, Vaijumavshi took the cheif responsibility of taking care of him. Sure she had help at her home - Pratapkaka, Vanita, Sanna, and Priya all pitched in. My aai came by often to their place to share the burden. But the day to day responsibility of taking care of Neil was hers. She did a great job with him.

One of the main things she did besides feeding him, was to potty train him. She started when he was only 15 months old. And now at 20 months, he goes 80% of the time in the right place. We still have to figure out when he wants to go, but are at a stage where he wears diapers only when we go out or he goes to sleep. It required a lot of work and most importantly patience. She would sit in front of him, encourage him, sing songs. Sometimes he would say "potty" just because he did not want to sleep. But she always took him, praised him when he did the right thing, and never scolded.

Potty training is just one example. She taught him to say words, to pronounce them better. She paid very close attention and most importantly listened to him. And she did all this without making any fuss, as if it was her job. We are really grateful for what she did.

Pratapkaka also pitched in quite a bit. His contribution was less of a hands on, and more of a background support. He must have spent hours trying to paste together pages of the books that Neil tore out. He was concerned at first (and rightfully so) about the responsibility of keeping a child without his mother. When Neil started jumping like crazy, he was worried, and nervous. But he carefully tied the chairs so that they were safer for him. The first few days when Neil wouldn't leave Lisa, he gave him the huge white ball. That was the first time when Neil started playing away from his mom. Pratapkaka called him and still calls him "Jumbukalee". He played with Neil a lot - he would sit Neil on his lap and jump up and down "Dhingitikkee, Dhingitikkee".

My mom too, spent a lot of time with Neil. For convinience, he was staying at Vaijumavshi's place - since he was already there when Lisa was there. Since Lisa left, Neil still wasn't independent enough to play in other homes. When they took him to my mom's place he cried the moment he realized his usual people were not around him. This changed over time, but little too slowly. When I went to India, I made it point to try and acclamatize him at Kothrud place. At the end of our stay, he was comfortable enough to be there with my mom and my dad on his own. But since acclamatizing took long time, that meant my mom had to go to Vaijumavshi's place to visit Neil. That she did very diligently. She just loved the feeling of being with Neil. When he slept on her lap, she did not want to put him down. Neil watches her videos and calls out "aaji", even in some video clips when she is just in the background.

Ever since he has had an accident, my dad's mobility is not what it used to be. But whenever Neil was there he was thrilled to play with him. He calls Neil "Chandrabai", because one of PuLa's character says "Nurse Chandrabaichya hasnyatun chandana saandata". Neil's smile always reflected on his face, and he was reenergized. He sang to Neil, and Neil listened enraptured. Neil's favorite game was to climb on one window and call out "baba" and my father had to appear in the other room window. Neil loved the different tasty tidbits that my dad gave him. Sometime it was sour or spicy or both, Neil would make funny face and ask for more.

As I have said earlier, there is so much to write. So many memories... But at least we are glad for what all the grandparents did for Neil.

Back From India - Neil playing around the house

Neil soon seemed to remember the old things, thanks to the video clips that he has been seeing. There was one clip in which a step ladder fell down. He used to love watching it. When he saw the ladder in the kitchen, he said "palla, palla" (fell down). We also used to run around the kitchen wall with me trying to catch him. He remembered that immediately, and started playing on the second day. See the video.

He also loves to ring the bell, and keeps asking us "ningnong ningnong" when he wants to. Here is a clip showing him ringing the bell and playing zanja...

Another thing he loved to do was spray water. Before he left for India, he was not strong enough to do it himself. Now he can press it on his own, and seemed to love the freedom.

He loved to play with the bags. For some reason he found the bag cover flapping very funny.

Back from India - 1

I know I am mixing the timelines a bit, but can't resist publishing some of the things Neil has done since he is back. On the Seoul airport, there is an automatic walkway. Neil loved to go on it. He made us go back and forth at least three times. The first time he was on it, he touched the cleaning bristles at the bottom, and pointed at his head. He was saying "kesh, kesh" (hair)... I thought that was amazing. See for yourself. Sorry about the rotation - that's how I filmed it. Picasa allows you to rotate, but not Windows movie maker... So you will have to tilt your head a bit.

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Indian Summer 09 - Neil

Neil was the one reason we went to India. We wanted to bring him back home. Lisa and Neil came to India in January, so that I could focus on the job search. In march Lisa came back to US, and Neil stayed with his grandparents. This was a really big thing for us. He stayed with them for two months. I was really anxious to see him after four months.and in May we went to India to get him. So all in all Neil stayed in India for five months - almost a quarter of his lifetime till now.
This was a very big step for us. And more importantly even bigger step for the grandparents. Everyone we knew asked them how they are going to manage to keep him. When he first went with Lisa in January, he simply clung to her for the first ten days. He would not leave her out of site, she had to stay within three feet of him - or he would start crying. He acclamatized later and got comfortable with everyone. But it still was a risk. If he did not like it, or remembered his mommy, it is not exactly easy to take him to US. Plus it involved a big responsibility and a huge time commitment. They did it and we are extremely thankful to them. Plus Neil is much better for it.
The first few weeks were tough. He was a handful. He is an adventurous kid for his age. He likes to seeks thrills, there is no other way to describe it. He would jump up and down from their sofa, sometimes head down first. They kept a bean bag next to it and he would jump on it, climb on the sofa, jump - he would do it fifty times in a row! He would move heavy chairs around to climb on tables and other high surfaces. They tied chairs to each other, and then he still moved them one by one.

In US he was a loner, and had a big stranger anxiety. Trying to keep him away from us for an hour was impossible. Now he is a little more comfortable with people, he doesn't shy away from crowds, and says hi to other kids easily.
He had so many people taking care of him, and showering him with love and attention. His grandparents, Vanita, Sanna, Sujata, Priya... त्याला त्यांनी अक्षरशः लाडावून ठेवला होता , त्या प्रत्येकाविषयी एक स्वतंत्र लेख लिहावा लागेल,
He learned lots of new words. Before he went all he could say was bbaa bbaa and mmaa mmaa... Now he can say a lot of things. He can count to five, ask for milk, tell that he has had a boo boo, knows words for his nose, eyes, hair etc. More importantly he has learned to enjoy communicating.

Indian Summer 09

There is so much to write, I don't know where to begin. When I think of the India trip, the memories just overflow... I could write a book on just those five weeks. It was a walk down the memory lane after so many years.

When a tree falls in the forest, does it make noise? Does the moon exist when you are not looking at her? Well, people sure do even after you have lost contact with them for years. They grow up, change, and yet remain the same at heart. If I were to summarize my trip, I would say I saw familiarity juxtaposed with awsome. It was a common theme with people, places, food, economy... Going back after five years evokes feelings that you almost forgot existed.

And just like an Indian summer the trip ended in just five weeks. Each of those thirty five days seemed long, it was so full of experiences. Yet the days whirled past me and before I knew it was time to go back.

Pictures are supposed to be worth a thousand words. By the same token, moving pictures would be worth thousand pictures. In this digital age, you get to collects hundreds of pictures and video clips. I have all of them. Nicely arranged in albums. I look at them from time to time - we have to because Neil demands to see himself, otherwise he would not eat his breakfast - and the memories rush back. Some of them serve to bring back other memories - like pictures of hostel 5 in IIT. When I went there, it was deserted due to the summer. My room - room number 166 was locked. I was kind of glad, because I could not have beared to see it without the Madhubala. There is a new "taparee" on the corner of the hostel, the pond is gone, the mess and the lounge are shinier, so is the hostel exterior. My memories and feelings are contained in them. But I want them to last a little longer. That is another thing I learned in this trip - memories fade, they get worn out and unless you take care they just vanish. This blog is an attempt to preserve them for myself and my loved ones. Etch them in the digital stone so to speak. So I have decided to write multiple articles devoted to various themes, preferably illustrated by pictures and/or video clips - because the India trip cannot be summarized in one piece.

This is the picture of the famous "Vaari". Millions of people are going from Dehu and Alandi to Pandhari. They have been doing this for the past seven hundred years. I got to see it for the first time. Millions of devotees brave the simmering heat, and walk with bare necessities for hundreds of kilometers. Not just walk, but they sing and dance along the way. That is their way of connecting with God. Most of them are extremely poor. Many of them do this trip every year. This year it was hot sun, other years it is pouring rains, and sometimes it is both. But they diligently walk. The government tries to make water and some food available to the throng. People along the way pitch in with cups of tea, biscuits, food, and money. Some companies put up stalls to give them help. The vaari moves on in a fairly organized manner, like a giant juggernaut. Lisa and I walked with them for a few kilometers - we had to go in town and there was no rikshaw available because of the vaari. It was a moving experience. If I have some free time I would love to do the whole walk some day. I got a few glimpses of India that day. I knew they did this - I was familiar with it. But it is one thing to know as a dry fact and another to see for yourself. Seeing it touched me and changed me. This is just one example of old familiarity and reexperience.