Wiessbluth method

It works. I was amazed at how efficient it was. All it took was one night, and 15 minutes of discomfort (to say the least)

I am talking about Neil's sleeping habit. He was a fussy sleeper. Even as a 4 month old he tried to fight off sleep, especially when we were around. And since he had difficulty falling asleep we always used to be around to help him. He also never slept through the night except for a brief period of 1 month when he was 3 months old. Sure, our method of making him go to sleep at a fixed time were helping, but that did not do anything for his nightly arousals. Lately Lisa was getting very tired as she did not get good continuous sleep. He would wake up about five to six times a night, and needed to be comforted to get back to sleep.

So we decided to bite the bullet and went for the cold turkey, Weissbluth method. It involves letting a child cry to his sleep. This sounds very ruthless, but the underlying philosophy is teaching the child to soothe himself, and be self reliant in this matter. In his excellent book (name?) he discusses the importance of continous sleep and getting enough of it. He looks at it as an important skill for lifetime.

But from a parent's viewpoint it is a drastic step. We went through the nightly routine, and instead of patting him to sleep, put him in the crib and walked out of the dark room. We sat outside. And he cried. It was a harrowing experience. He kept crying for a while. We could tell that he was some times standing up in the crib, sometimes he was looking through the crib bars towards our bed to look for us. He cried harder and pitifully. We wanted to go inside so badly. But the book said that he had to convince himself that there was no danger there. Going into the room at this point to soothe him would have reinforced just the opposite of what we had wanted. Lisa grew anxious, my mom was almost in tears and I too was shaken. Lisa was telling me about kids that cry for an hour or even two hours in some cases. Somehow after 10 long minutes the crying was not as intense. Fifteen minutes later the crying stopped. We ventured inside after another 15 minutes or so, and he was sound asleep. Even though he woke up couple times during the night, he went back to sleep without our assistance.

Tonight we thought he might cry, but amazingly, when my mom kept him in the crib, he went to sleep almost immediately, within about 5 minutes without crying at all. After 15 minutes I checked, he was sound asleep.

It is hard to explain how relieved Lisa is. This has been the most important thing for her lately. I am glad for her that everything turned out so well and so smoothly too. We wonder why we did not try this earlier. But oh well, we are thankful that he finally has learned to sleep.

This one takes the cake!

Lisa is good at baking and decorating cakes, but making this cake she outdid herself! (double click on the image to see the amazing detail, especially check out the bread, the basket and the book.)
Lisa made a cake yesterday for Irfan and Aysha's wedding anniversary. The cake was based on the theme of Omar Khayyam's Rubai that can be translated as follows.


A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,

A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread, and Thou

Beside me singing in the Wilderness

Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!





So the cake aptly contains a Surahi of wine, two cups, a loaf of bread, with two bolster cushions on a rug, set on a thick lawn (in an oasis). The point being that this is all they need for happiness since they already have each other.

Here is a picture of the cake from another angle.

Everything on the cake was edible. Most of the structures were made out of the gum paste. The lawn she made out of colored dry coconut flakes. The texture of the rug she achieved with colored semolina. The Persian unlevened bread, the basket and the book are just amazing. Here is her picture with the cake, and she has all the reasons to be proud! I am proud of her too.

iGot iPhone!

Yes, there is justice in the world. My iPhone arrived within 4 days, and I went to pick it up yesterday. The line was like that of a highly rated difficult to pronounce French restaurants, that served even more difficult to pronounce entre's. The ones that keep you hungry even after paying through your nose. (They are probably there not for people needing mere food...) And where you are supposed to say afterwards it was heavenly even though you would have preferred a burger. The end justifies the means I say. And the means necessary to go there are a lot.

Anyway, I was talking about the iPhone lines. I stood there watching other people getting that coveted object of my desire. The names were scratched off slowly one after the other, and Ijust kept looking at the list. After an hours wait, we did get the iPhone, and the process was pretty painless. They activated and voila - I could call.

The fun began when I came home and my wife could not tear me away from that darn thing. I have never lusted after any other inanimate object, but once you look at the sleek, beutiful finish, the shiny surfaces, the cute icons, and the novel zoom in zoom out, flick up down movement on the screen - I mean how could you not fall in love?

I am a happy man.

Green Card Dance

I am on the verge of getting my green card. This means at this moment, I am willing to do anything USCIS asks me to do. Dance in my undies on a table in a crowded beer hall? Sure! Anything you say. And they have asked me to do some pretty important things.

It turned out that on one of my countless applications my lawyers had filled out, there was a question of whether I had any prior names. Of course this is important. What if my prior name was Osama Bin Laden? Wouldn't any government want to know? And wouldn't I tell them. After all, I am willing to dance semi naked in public, ain't I? The lawyers, in their wisdom had written, "N/A" to the prior name question. Which sounds fair enough to me. But the shrewed diplomats in USCIS kindly reviewing my form, immidiately smelled a rat. "He says "N/A" ? Not applicable? Who is he to decide whether something is applicable to him or not? And what if his earlier name was Osama Bin Laden? Wouldn't he try to dodge the question, by pretending it is not applicable to him? eh?" So they mulled, looked at each other with suspecious, narrowed eyes. After much deliberation they said that they need more information.

It turns out that the answer they were looking for was "NONE". If you did not have any prior names, you write "NONE" all capital, not N/A and not "I triple swear I did not have any prior names, and even if I did it was not..." No. You write "NONE" like a good boy. Which makes me wonder, what if someone's earlier name was None? Maybe that's not a big problem, but what if his name was N/A? Well, then any amount of dancing isn't going help him, is it? And maybe that's why we don't see any legal immigrants with those names.

What bugs me is that the lawyers are supposed to know these things. If you charge to the tune of hundreds of dollars per form, they better know! I bet that they charge by the hour, and each letter they costs you a few quarters! They are trained to think like the beurocrats. If you are not as smart as those who approve the forms, you should not getting paid as highly as they do.

Anyway the same lawyers magnanimously agreed to not charge me for that piece of paperwork. And they sent out remedial paperwork, that says, "No, really, I triple swear I did not have any other name" - only translated in legalese. I need to go in front of a Notary, and prove to him that I am "None" other than myself, and sign the document saying so. The Notary will attest and apply his seal of approval with all the mighty power vested in him by the state of California, that I said those things.

There is no mention of dancing in front of the Notary, but I am going prepared with my red dotted underwear.

Star wars, iPhone, costco, and sound sleep

This weekend Aai visited Vija-Ruchita. So we were just the three of us at home. The house felt a little empty, and Neil missed pampering from his grandma.

Saturday we went out and bought something I have been looking forward to for the past few weeks - iPhone. A shiny white one! Well, it's still not in my hands yet, due to the wait list. Why all these other people want the iPhone exactly when I need it is simply beyond me! I mean, can't they wait a little longer? Do they have to come before me? Everyone is so selfish! So I have a week's worth of looking forward to look forward to:-)

The Saturday evening I grabbed a couple of beers, and put on the star wars movies. I did a mini marathon and watched all the 3 newer episodes. FF'ed the mushy scenes and the Anakin's "character development" part - which happens to be so lame! And oh yeh, hate the Anakin the kid too. Why they had to have a 10 year old play a part that belongs to a character of 18 year old is beyond me! But the three in a row experience was really good.

Sunday we went to costco - ostentiably to buy a blender. But as with any other trip to costco we bought a lot more. It was well worth it. We now are proud ownders of a Brita filter jug - which by the way does not purify the water but "makes it healthier and tastier". And I have a new t-shirt.
The other thing that I achieved this weekend was really good sleep. Not a whole lot of it, but better quality. For some reason I am suffering from sleeplessness. It takes me really long to fall asleep - typically around 1:30, sometimes 3:30. I wake up after about six hours, still groggy and listless. But the couple of nights of 7.5 hours of sleep combined with an afternoon nap has worked wonders. I hope I can keep this up.

Neil in swimming pool (video)

As promised, posting video. I think there is an upper limit on each post - so I am just putting this video in another post.

Deck and Garage

For the longest time we have wanted to upgrade our deck and garage. Right now the deck needs to be badly replaced. Also, the garage is in chaos. We had said we will always keep the garage clean and empty. However, over the last year or so, things have just piled up. Besides just keeping it clean, if we upgrade it, we can use it as a big room for parties, gatherings, play area for Neil, and place for keeping the junk that has started gathering inside the house (because garage is full). In Bay Area, where every square foot is worth 10 grams of gold, it is almost criminal to waste 300+ square feet, just sitting there doing nothing. So we have finally decided to increase our libenstraum. Hopefully, over the next month or two everything will be finished. I look forward to putting up the before and after pictures!

Biscotti

Have I mentioned Lisa is good at baking stuff? I think I have, but I don't mind saying it again. In past month or so she has made 3 big projects - the purse cake, the tres leches cake and now she made Biscotti.

The recipe says that Biscotti will last for months. Lisa must not be making it right. Because whenever she makes it, it lasts three days tops. It is that good! It's a tedious process, but she does it because I love Biscotti, and after eating her creation, cannot stand the store bought one. The whole thing takes roughly 3 hours because it involves preparing the dough - adding pistachios and/or almonds, baking it once, letting it cool down, cutting the pieces delicately and then rebaking the pieces.

Neil climbing stairs. Neil in swimming pool

A lot happens in 4 days when you have a baby that is 9 month old. My last post, I mentioned that Neil could climb one step, with our help. Well, within two days he is climbing the whole staircase on his own! Here is a video of him attempting first step up. It seems so outdated - it's worse than computers - his stuff gets obsolete in just a week!


Also this weekend we visited Sunil and Asawari. We had a great time there. On the way to their place, we stopped at Deepa's place for a swim. By the time we reached there, Neil was asleep. So we were thinking, maybe next time - but he woke up and for 20 minutes, I held him inside the pool. He was just thrilled to be in so much water. Take a look at the video clip. (I am having difficulty uploading it, but soon...)

Neil's attempts at mobility

It is amazing to see how he is growing every week, sometimes almost every day. He is stronger, bigger, more agile and trying new things every day. The latest in this list are his attempts to take his motions to the third dimension. It feels really hard to imagine that only three months ago he was almost pinned to the location he was in. He started rolling, and then pulling himself around. He can now move pretty much everywhere and tasted every corner of our carpet, furniture, every flip flop, every wierd little spot on the kitchen floor tiles. Now he has started to realize the advantages of elevation. When we take him to the staircase landing, he sees the tops of the lamps, and the dust collecting on them. He sees the hanging lights come closer in his reach and he is fascinated by them. So he has decided to aim higher, and go where no baby in this household has gone before - at least by themselves.

He has started lifting himself up with our help, and stands on shaky, wobbly legs. However his legs are getting stronger and less shaky. If you stand him up on the couch he leans on the hand supports, resting his whole body and tries to reach for the lamp beyond.

Today he amazed us by going towards the staircase, and lifting himself up by the threads of the carpet, and tried really hard to put his leg up on the step! With only very little help he could do it today. I am sure, in a week or so, he will be able to climb the stairs by himself! We need a door.

Deepa, Suhas, Nandaatya and Pramodkaka visit

Deepa's parents are here in Bay area, and they are about to leave, so we invited them for dinner Monday night. We are still struggling a bit to throw parties with Neil around, but yesterday's was pretty close to normal. Neil behaved by eating up and sleeping while we ate. And Lisa's preparation worked out well. Oh, and not to forget my contribution - I suggested that she bake parathas in oven - this way she could make 6 at a time, without having to look after them. The Vegi's parathas turned out the best.

Kaka was telling us about his visit to Norway, and the conference they had. It was a management related conference and he told fascinating stories about how mismanagement at the top (board room) causes lots of problems for the corporate world.

As usual I played a game of chess with Ninad. He is on his summer vacation, and I will have my vacation in August - so I asked them if I could teach him to play chess. I have always wanted to teach him - he is extremely talented and loves to play chess. So this August, I will get to spend time with him and see if I can take him to level where he can beat me.

Bowling night

Usually we spend free time sitting at home and enjoying doing nothing. Sometimes the doing nothing gets too boring. This 4th of July weekend, we did anything but nothing. We did lots of things.

It started on the evening of the 3rd, when we went to Irfan's place for the usual get together. Left Neil at home with his Grandma, who insisted on letting us have some couple time. That was a great decision. Aysha was a bit disappointed because she always looks forward to meeting Neil, and so was Sagar and Raavi, because they haven't met him yet. But there were lots of other kids.

On the fourth, we went to Savanna Chanel, picnic, Santa Cruz beach and fireworks. (earlier post).

On 5th we went to BabiesRus, and bought Neil a walker. Lisa was not very excited about it, as she has read about the risks, but I really want to try it so that he gets motivated to walk. Well, the twice we have tried, we have not gotten great response from Neil himself. I will give it about a week to grow on Neil. Afternoon, Sameer and Vija-Ruchita visited us. Mom was staying with them, and when she came, she dearly missed the day's separation from Neil. She promptly held him. Sameer bought a nice toy for Neil - different shaped blocks that go in different slots. That's a great toy, because it is the right time for Neil to learn about it.

Then we went bowling. That was the funnest part of the weekend. Aai bowled for the first time and did pretty good. She improved in the second game, and wants to go more often. To end the day, we had Mohittos and Pizza. Ruchita had brought a nice dessert of nectarine with macadamia nut liquour and chocolate sauce.

So after such excitement, we spent the last day - Sunday doing absolutely nothing. End of a very eventful weekend.

Neil at the beach

On 4th of July weekend, Sameer is visiting us. So all six and a half of us, vija-ruchita, sameer, aai, Lisa, myself and neil went to lots of places. First we went to Savanna Channel winery - they have a really quaint redwood grove behind them that is an excellent picnic spot. Even in the middle of summer the place is cool with thick Redwood trees, and a very small creek with a trickle of water. Of course Neil loved the water, even though it was very cold. When he took him out, he wanted to go back.

Next we went to the Santa Cruz beach. The place was really crowded, we took longer to find parking than to get there. But it was worth it because we got to get our feet wet, and Neil got to stand in the waves. He was simply mesmerized with the vast expanse of water, and wanted to go inside all the way. See the video clip

Next, we rushed back to Milpitas, grabbed a sandwich and headed for the 4th of july fireworks show. Since we fit so many things in one day, we did not get the seats right in the park, but had to watch it from a distance. Neil still enjoyed it, especially the last part where they let loose half of their fireworks arsenal in the last minute. Everything was bright and glittery and noisy. The next time we will watch the show from much closer.

It was an exhausting day, and Neil was excited - he did not sleep till 12:30.

Tres Leches cake

Yesterday Lisa baked Tres Leches cake because I tried it once and had said I loved it. She remembers such small things, very nice of her. She looked at many recipes, and finally chose one by Martha Stuart. The amazing part is she had tasted only a small piece (one bite) once. She had never made the cake before - but she had an idea about how the cake turn out and what texture it would be. So she made some changes, that would make the cake a bit firmer. I was, of course a little apprehensive, since we want to take this cake to Irfan's place. So we cut one of the two she baked. Needless to say, it is simply heavenly. We had to make effort to stop eating it. It has that milky, creamy, soft taste - and yes, the firmness is just right.

She was brought up in India, where no one bakes at home. She learned it on her own. But she has the natural instinct for it. Here is a picture of one of her cakes. She made it for Aai's birthday. (doubleclick on the picture to see details)

Neil is getting smarter

Maybe a little too smart!

For the last week or so, we have developed a routine, where after our dinner, my mom massages him with oil, then I take him to the tub for half an hour play and bath. Later after getting comfy and drinking his milk, he goes to sleep in the crib with our assistance.

Since he loves the tub-play (see video clip in June 25 article), he eagerly looks forward to it. So after the massage, he promptly jumps to me with open arms and keeps looking towards the bathroom. He refused to go to his mom's arms when he was with me. So we thought he was smart enough to know who takes him to the tub. But later, it turned out he knew which "side" the bread was buttered. Because, whenever we tried to exchange hands, he immediately and consistently went to the person whoever was closer to the bathroom, and flatly refused to go to anyone farther away. He did not care whether it was mommy, daddy or grandma - he just wanted to be in the bathroom, because that's where the tub is! That's where he has fun!

Looks like he is destined to become a politician, happily changing to the party that offers him a ministership!

Neil in the park

The other day we took Neil to a park. He loved everything we tried - swing, slide, ducks around him. The surprising part was that he was not afraid of anything. On swing he was laughing. Even the slide, he enjoyed it the first time he slid down. When I fed the ducks, or went after them, he was very excited and laughed all the time.

This video of him shows how much fun he had on the slide. Unfortunately, I took it with my camera held verticle (I am used to taking still shots vertically...) So you just have to tilt your head, but you get the idea...